Veela Magnetism
by greenikat89
Summary: Oneshot, MWPP: Sirius is not a veela.  Remus is most definitely not his mate.  Remus would very much like to smother his best friend with a pillow for waking him up at the crack of dawn.  Unfortunately that's not the way Remus' life works.


**Disclaimer:** If I owned the HP universe I'd be a very rich person. Alas, I don't so I'm stuck working a minimum wage job. Hooray for reality.

A/N: Sirius should come with his own warning label. Poor Remus. I've no idea when Sirius' birthday is so let's just agree it's in the summer.

* * *

It was exactly 5:37 am. Remus was awake. And Sirius had wings. Someone was going to die as soon as Remus had enough coffee in him to string together a coherent sentence. That someone was now crouched over Remus' bed grinning like and idiot and showing off his new appendages. 

"Look Remus," Sirius exclaimed excitedly waving his hands at the fuchsia colored wings, "I'm a veela."

Remus' right eye twitched violently and he willed himself not to calmly wrap his hands around Sirius' throat and just squeeze. He was pretty sure he could stuff Sirius' body under his bed and feed it to the giant spiders in the Forbidden Forest later. Remus would have done it too, but he had let Sirius borrow his music collection and the boy hadn't returned it yet. Pity.

"You're not a veela," Remus said instead. "You're an idiot wearing fake wings on his back for Merlin knows what reason. Now go to bed." He turned over on his side and pulled up his sheets making a note to spell his bed curtains shut. Let James deal with Sirius this early in the morning next time instead of giving Remus premature gray hairs. "Your own bed, Sirius!" he snapped when he felt his bed dip underneath his very soon to be dead friend's weight.

"But Remus, I've come into my inheritance," Sirius whined while poking his friend in the shoulder.

Remus gripped his pillow stiffling the urge to smother his friend. "That's a myth," he grumbled. Sleep. _Sleep._ He needed it so much and _why _wasn't Sirius going away?

He was turned over on his side as Sirius rolled him over by the shoulders. "Nu-huh," he protested. " I've heard it happen to a friend of a friend of a friend of mine. Sometimes wizards can come into their inheritance on their birthday and receive these awesome magical powers."

"Your birthday was in the summer," Remus stated flatly.

"Maybe I'm a late bloomer," Sirius responded impishly. "Now come on and help me get ready for my adoring fans. I heard that veela have strong powers of attraction and I want to look my best."

"Then why do I feel like shoving you into the lake to watch you drown?" Remus groused, scrubbing a hand across his face.

"That's because my veela powers aren't turned up all the way," Sirius responded primly. He then started to wiggle his fingers at Remus while making weird humming noises. His ridiculous looking wings gently bounced around behind him.

Remus closed his eyes. It was way too early for this. "What are you doing?"

"Don't you feel like throwing yourself at my feet and proclaiming your undying love for me?" Sirius asked.

Remus narrowed a golden-eyed glare at him. "No."

"Hmm." Sirius rubbed his chin thoughtfully while sitting on the edge of Remus' bed. It was quiet in the dormitory and Remus almost thought he'd finally be left alone to dream when Sirius jumped up with an exclamation. "I got it! The reason why you're resistant to my charms is because you're my mate," he said flinging his arms around Remus.

Remus just stared at his friend. "Do you even listen to yourself when you're talking?"

"I suppose I could have done worse," Sirius said completely ignoring Remus' comment. "Being stuck with your best friend for the rest of your life isn't such a bad thing. Because as you know, veelas mate for life."

Remus gave a defeated sigh as Sirius got up to spread the word of his new "veela mate." Why was he friends with Sirius again? He watched as Sirius fell flat on his face when his plastic wings got caught in the doorway. Ah yes, it was the entertainment value. That must be it.


End file.
